Building Your Community: Why and How To Build Community
We’ve all had times in our lives where we have been put into a new surrounding and had to navigate building relationships. Whether it be a new school, a new job, or a big move across the country, who we choose to surround ourselves with can play a vital role in our mental health.
Is your community benefiting you?
Sometimes we as humans get stuck in surrounding ourselves with people that have familiar behaviors to ones we grew up with. It is natural to seek familiarity in your relationships, but what if those familiar behaviors are the toxic kind? Your community should be one that empowers and inspires you, one that you can share your skills and interests while also learning from others. It should be a place of refuge, support, and encouragement as well as accountability. Humans are social animals and have the desire to seek the safety of fitting in with those around us. It is important to seek out a safe community that brings you up instead of tearing you down. Talking with a therapist can help navigate dealing with toxic people and aid in breaking cycles of surrounding yourself with people who bring you down.
How to build a community if you don’t have one (or need a new one)
You may be in an entirely new place or have come to realize that your current community is not serving your mental health journey. But now what? Well, start with what you enjoy! What are your hobbies? What do you do already that would be more enjoyable with someone else who also enjoys it? Are you a spiritual person? Do you enjoy helping others? Sometimes a sense of community can come from having the same barista when you get your morning coffee or saying “hello” to the same person on your lunch break walk, but here are some other ideas:
Check to see if there are any groups or classes in your area that share the same hobby
Yoga, crafts, fishing, reading, parent groups, hiking, rock climbing, walking- the list could go on! What interests you? A simple Facebook or MeetUp search can show you events near you! There is a Pyrex (yes, the baking dishes) swap where people who enjoy collecting them get together once a year and swap pieces they have thrifted. Let your imagination run wild, you never know what’s out there!
Are you spiritual?
Maybe you are not interested in joining an organized congregation but are interested in small groups who share your beliefs, whatever they may be!
Check out your local library
Sometimes libraries serve as community centers and offer things like book clubs, movie nights, chess clubs, and more. Sometimes community groups also reserve rooms in libraries for events, so it is worth asking a librarian to see what is going on!
Online
Although technology can be a double-edged sword, it can also bring a great sense of community. If you have an interest, no matter how niche you might think it is, there is probably an online group or forum for it! And although online lacks some of the personal interaction, it is still an excellent way to build your community (and can lead to an in-person community!)
Lastly,
It is SO important to ensure that your community is supporting and benefitting you. If it’s not, it’s worth putting in the effort to build positive, uplifting relationships—and you’ll likely see a noticeable impact on your mental health as a result. Stepping outside your comfort zone to meet new people can be transformative. Of course, it would be nice if it were as simple as when kids approach each other with a friendly “Hi, I’m _____, do you want to be friends?” Maybe there's something we can learn from that fearless simplicity!
Sources:
You Are a Conformist (That Is, You Are Human) | Psychology Today
How to Improve Your Mental Health Through Community | Psychology Today
